In return for a letter - such as the one I posted last week - you get a return letter from Greg Dodge, Manager, Confidential Records of The COJCOLDS - saying the following:
Dear Brother (or Sister) So-and-So:
I have been asked to acknowledge your recent letter in which you request that your name be removed from the membership records of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I have also been asked to inform you that the Church considers such a request to be an ecclesiastical matter that must be handled by local priesthood leaders before being processed by Church employees. Therefore, your letter and a copy of this reply are being sent to President "So and So" of the "Such and Such" Stake. He will have Bishop "So and So" of the "Such and Such" Ward contact you concerning the fulfillment of your request.
In view of (this is the best part) eternal consequences of such an action, the Brethren urge you to reconsider your request and to prayerfully consider the enclosed statement of the First Presidency.
Greg W. Dodge
(very official looking, very big, signature of the Dodger)
Manager, Confidencial Records